I didn’t realise this until adulthood but handmade birthday piñatas are the apex of parental devotion. I spent the week cooking for my ravenous teenage cousins and felt a bit crestfallen at times that I was spending so long making something that was going to disappear within minutes—but with piñatas it’s so much worse, they exist to be savagely maimed. Year after year my father asked his kids what shape they wanted this year’s piñatas to be and he spent weeks painstakingly making them in the basement after work, only to watch a bunch of oversugared bat-wielding kids gleefully destroy them in less than 10 minutes.
I mentioned this to him and he said he remembered researching tarantula anatomy for the giant spider piñata I asked for when I was 4, trying to make the fangs the right shape and to cut the crepe paper into very thin ribbons so the thing would look appropriately fuzzy, and I was like “and I don’t even remember it because I was four!! spending so long building a beautiful object only so your kids will have fun destroying it, knowing they won’t even remember it, is such a selfless endeavour” and he said “my other motivation was that you said you wanted the spider to look real & scary so the kids at your birthday party would be terrified of it and you’d get to scoop up all the candy and I wanted to support your slyness & ambition”
what’s funniest about the pacific rim scientists is like. when newt geiszler says he’s a scientist he means an old-timey 1910s entomologist wearing khaki shorts and a comically oversized pair of binoculars traipsing through the jungle capturing endangered species of butterfly and murmuring “egads!! fascinating…..” and scribbling it in his journal. when hermann gottlieb is being a scientist it’s literally the fucking manhattan project. tortured chainsmoking physicist. pawn of a war. repressed homosexual all his life. gets executed for being a communist. And they have to do each other’s peer review
They’re older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It’s why we’re like this, I think. You don’t stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You’re always going to be a little Off.
